Hi, I’m Malvina Lacey.

I decided to create Snowdrop Garden because I can’t seem to exist in the world without feeling everything incredibly deeply. And I’m fairly certain I’m not alone.

Since the very beginning, I have always experienced life in an overwhelmingly all-consuming way. Feeling alone and misunderstood in this confusing way of living, I learned to find comfort in all forms of art and artists who seemed to share similar souls. I also learned to conceal my melancholic nature in order to blend into the aquarium, though always feeling quite out of place.

But you can’t hide your way out of your own nature. I am pathetically intense, I do feel things incredibly deeply, I do ask myself how people exist normally, I was four when I started spiraling about the concept of nothingness, I do cling to Sylvia Plath and Jeff Buckley’s words, I don’t know how to love something without wanting to drown in it, I am not chill, I do feel the weight universe inside of me and I know not how to be any different. Frankly, I don’t think I wish to be.

And while it is terrifying to admit it all, I believe that there are people in the world who know what this all means. My wish is for this garden to reach those souls. My wish is for them to feel seen.

Blue souls, to feel so very deeply is a gift, not a curse, do not let it eat you alive.

with grace,

Malvina.

Note: the photos of myself on this page were taken by Jake Hartman (1,4) and Solange Jain (3) and edited by me.